bye-bye diaper champ

Okay, I know, I know - I just finished posting a blog, but something happened in the last couple of minutes that I had to share. Our diaper champ stinks, I mean really, really smells just awful! Don't misunderstand, it did really well for the first 11 or 12 months, but it just got to where we couldn't clean the smell out. Maybe it's because we stopped using the diaper champ brand of bags...
We loved the diaper champ because it was cheaper than the diaper genie AND you can use regular bags in it instead of buying the expensive refills. We had enough bags to get us through the first several months, and then we started using the scented garbage bags - vanilla to be exact. That helped for a couple of weeks, and then it started to smell like vanilla scented poop every time we inserted a diaper. Let me explain something, we emptied it out every week AND wiped the inside and outside with Lysol wipes, as well. I tried filling it with bleach water and letting it soak, but it wasn't watertight. I couldn't take it apart to do a thorough clean and soak, so... masking the smell seemed like the way to go. Once the scented bags stopped working, I poured an entire box of baking soda in it (which was NO help). I cleaned out the baking soda and tried to think of something else. I remembered those stick-up air fresheners - aha! That would be the thing that worked, I just knew it. I looked for those things for a month - finally found some at the dollar store. They had a flowery scent and worked... for about a month. Even after cleaning the diaper champ and replacing the air freshener, it still smelled like flowery, vanilla scented poop when we opened it. It quickly got to the point where it smelled even when it wasn't open. So, we decided to put it outside. That was a couple of weeks ago. I just opened it to empty it out, and the smell almost knocked me over!!! It was awful - the worst smell I've ever encountered (and I grew up on a farm - that had an outhouse on the property). There's no saving this diaper champ :(
RIP diaper champ: January 2010 - February 2011 'You fought a good fight against the foul odor of JA's dirty diapers.'

JA's complaints to the chef

I made JA a very yummy, nutritious lunch today which consisted of meatless chicken nuggets, green beans, and pears. However, JA didn't agree with the yummy part. He ate the meatless chicken nuggets with no problems - he actually picked through his food to find the bites of chicken nuggets to eat first. He started on the pears when I noticed he hadn't touched his green beans. I put a bite of green beans in his mouth - he made a face. It was one of those 'yuck-what-did-you-just-put-in-my-mouth-and-how-do-I-get-it-out faces. At this point, I'm wondering if he's going to be like his daddy, who doesn't eat vegetables unless they are a carb (potatoes, corn, peas). I tried feeding him the green beans, and it went something like this:
I place a small piece of green beans in his mouth.
JA makes a face, puts his hand in his mouth to extract the green bean, and throws it over his shoulder.
Mommy says, "Green beans are yummy. Mommy likes them." I take a bite of green bean. JA smiles.
I try to give him another bite. He takes the green bean out of his mouth, but instead of tossing it over his shoulder, he tries to feed it to me.
I decline the offer, and he throws it in the floor.
I place another bite in his mouth. He makes a face, but doesn't take it out.
JA picks up a piece of green bean and puts it in my mouth. I notice he smells sweet - like pears :)
I chew up my bite and encourage him to do the same. He starts to fuss, and I decide to give it up for now. I fish out the bite that had been just sitting in his mouth for the last few minutes and start to clean him up. The whole time, I'm thinking, "Why doesn't JA like green beans anymore? Is it because Dale doesn't eat them? What if he never eats a green vegetable again? Maybe I should start adding cheese or sauces to the vegetables - or will that make them so unhealthy that there's no point in even eating them?" I finally finish cleaning him up and decide to give my thoughts a rest. I have to keep reminding myself that he's fine. He probably just didn't like the taste of reheated, left-over green beans...

tired

I'm so very tired of being left out. I'm so very tired of being lied to. I'm so very tired of not being a priority. I'm so very tired of only getting called when you need something. I'm so very tired of being your scapegoat. I'm so very tired of being replaced by someone who isn't even your child. But, do you want to know what makes me the most tired? The fact that I still think you'll change - that you'll actually be there for me and include me. Heck, that you'll actually consider my feelings, for once. I'm tired of saying, "I'm over it," to only be dragged right back in by your half-hearted and feeble attempts at acknowledging the presence of my sweet baby boy. I'm tired of being tired, and you are completely oblivious.

Queen for a Day

There was a second part to my Valentine gift, as well: a spa day! Yep, I couldn't believe it either - it was a very nice surprise! Dale set up a day of pampering for me at The Villa in Lebanon. It was so nice. I was a little apprehensive about leaving the baby for such a long time (Dale told me it was about 4 hours of treatments), but I was very excited at the thought of relaxing and being pampered. I haven't polished my nails since before JA was born and most days I'm lucky to get a shower and brush my hair!
My day of pampering started with some hydrotherapy. Ahhh, relaxing in a jacuzzi with steam mists and nothing but my thoughts... that kept wandering to what JA was doing. The soak finished, and I went to a room to wait for the massage. Now, for this 'day of pampering,' you are dressed in a robe and slippers. The robe was a bit too small, and the slippers were a tad bit too large; which was an interesting combination. The robe covered everything it needed to while I was standing, but when I sat, well, that was a different story altogether. I had to hold onto the robe and sit in what was probably a very awkward looking position to ensure that I wasn't scarring anyone for life. You can imagine how I felt when I walked into the room and saw two other women sitting there: eek! I gaether my robe around my hips as best as I could and was able to 'keep it all together' until my name was called.
This would be my first professional massage... ever! I was a little nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I knew it was a Swedish massage, but had no idea what that meant. It was wonderful :) She told me I was stressed. I wanted to laugh. Of course I'm stressed - isn't that a prerequisite for mommyhood? Anyway, the massage was very nice, but it did a number on my sinuses. I was very stuffy, but my nose was running. Not to worry, the facial cleared that right up. I think the facial was my favorite part of the day. All the smells and just having someone rub my face was sooo relaxing...
Next up: pedicure and manicure! Again, it was very nice. The nail technician and I talked quite a bit: about our children, husbands, the crazy weather. We were having quite a time when I went to walk down the stairs to go get dressed. Now remember, the slippers were too big and I'd just had a pedicure. She offered me her arm for support while walking down the stairs, but I didn't take it because I didn't need it. Hahaha - wrong! I busted my butt on those stairs :) Luckily, the only thing I hurt was my pride.
My phone had died after the massage so I was unable to check the time (or check on JA). During the manicure, she told me what time it was - I had been there for almost 5 hours!!! I didn't freak out, but it definitely brought me back down to earth. I felt so guilty because I had been having a good time without JA, and I had been away from him for such a long time. I was definitely ready to go and see how my sweet little guy was doing. I couldn't get out to the vehicle quick enough so I could charge my phone and see what he was doing. Of course, he was fine - having fun with his Daddy :) I'm sure he hadn't even noticed that Mommy wasn't there...

only in Nash-vegas

My sweet husband got us tickets to the Schermerhorn to hear the Nashville Symphony and Gladys Knight last weekend (for Valentine's Day). We had such a good time - even though JA didn't get to go with us! Thankfully, we were able to leave him in the very capable hands of one of my very best friends :) JA just loves her and had a good time! Anyway, Dale and I got dressed up and headed downtown for a night of music. It was our first time out without JA since he was born... 13 months ago! Dale had originally made dinner reservations for us, but I asked him to cancel them because I just couldn't be away from the baby that long. We left the house unsure of where we were going to eat or if we would even have time to eat. We ended up picking up a couple of slices at Sbarro's and scarfing them in the vehicle before the concert. It was kinda fun - definitely different! That's one thing I love about us - we may seem a little high maintenance at time, but we really aren't. We're pretty down-to-earth, really!
So, we make it to the Schermerhorn with about ten minutes to spare. Instead of searching for a space, we opted for the valet - it was just $5-10 more and totally worth it. We didn't have to walk through the snow (yep, Nashville still had lots of snow on the ground!). This was the first time that I had been to the Schermerhorn - it's a pretty impressive place. And the people! I love to people watch (who doesn't?). Most of our fellow concert goers were dressed like us - suit and nice (but not formal) dress. I saw a few women wearing floor length gowns (made me feel underdressed) and a few people wearing jeans. I thought only in Nashville will you such diversity at a symphony concert.
The music was just beautiful :) I love picking out the instruments as they play. I don't do well with the strings - probably because we didn't have any in band in high school. The crazies came out after intermission - I guess Gladys Knight just does that to people. I couldn't believe that people were dancing and singing and yelling out to her on stage. It was so funny, and she was just so good natured about. Yelling back, I hear ya, honey, and stuff like that. I was really surprised at the amount of energy that she had. She was doing some fancy moving in some pretty high heels - very impressive!
We left before the concert was over. It was getting late, and I wanted to get back home to the baby. We had such a wonderful time, and I only called/texted to check on the baby a few times. We had a good time, JA had a good time, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to go out without him again (well, anytime soon, that it).

coloring with JA

Mommy sets up with a large piece of paper (grocery bag), the crayons (all 12), and the camera. "Look JA - crayons!! We're going to have so much fun coloring with the crayons!!!"
JA crawls over, assesses the scene and grabs a crayon.
Mommy: "Oh, look, you have a green crayon," as she grabs the camera.
JA looks at crayon and Mommy, with camera poised, and begins chewing on crayon.
Mommy: "No, shew, yuck. We don't eat the crayons, we color with them. Watch, Mommy" Mommy pulls crayon out of his mouth while demonstrating how to color.
JA watches intently as he grabs another crayon and begins chewing on it.
Mommy takes away second crayon, demonstrates coloring and explains again that we don't eat crayons. Mommy is now laying on two crayons.
JA grabs two more crayons - looks at one while chewing on the other.
Mommy now puts all of the crayons under her while explaining we don't eat crayons.
JA thinks it's a game and tries to get the crayons under Mommy so he can eat them.
Mommy gathers all of the crayons and decides that maybe it's too early for coloring. Maybe we should wait another month... or so...

Feb. 9th or why we LOVE Cookeville!

When I woke up Thursday morning and saw ALL of that snow, I really dreaded going to class - even though Dale was going with us to play with JA in the CDL. Usually Cookeville has more snow than us, and our road was covered. Well, we loaded up and prepared to face the treacherous, icy journey to Tech. We start going up the big hill at Buffalo Valley, and I noticed something - there's almost NO snow on the ground. Really? Seriously - Cookeville had almost no snow :) So... we get JA to the CDL, and I hang out and let Dale play with JA. Now, when it's just me, and I get ready to leave, JA doesn't even acknowledge my presence when I tell him bye-bye. Dale and I get ready to leave, and JA starts crying - he wants dada. (break a mommy's heart!) Anyway, we get him calmed down and go on our way. This is not the reason we love cookeville, btw :)
Dale and I had a very quick lunch at clear creek bistro - so super-yummy! It's such a tiny little sandwich place, located in a medical park, but totally worth the search! After my class, and we picked up JA, we went to 32 degrees. JA (and we) loved it!! Self-service frozen yogurt - yumm-o! Apparently, I wasn't feeding JA quickly enough because he kept putting his hand in the cup, trying to grab more! After we left there, we went to Cato's to find something for mommy to wear Friday night (more on that later), and had the nicest, most helpful salesgirl :) Our final stop: Discovery Depot :) I love that toy store - now, it is pricey, but they only carry the high quality, educational stuff. Well, that and CANDY! We have found a puzzle for JA there and crayons - I haven't been able to find either of those for his age anywhere else (outside of catalogs). The good thing is those items were $10 and less. On this day, we were getting crayons for JA. I was so excited and had these visions of me and the baby creatively scribbling and exploring color. Hahahaha - that is sooo not how it went. Coloring with JA was definitely an adventure and will be the subject of the next blog - fun stuff, people, I promise :)
Anyway, we love Cookeville because there is just so much to do! Places that we haven't been to a million times. More choices than just Wal-Mart :) All of these choices, but still located in one of the safest cities in the country! Small town feel without the lack of choices. I really, really want to move to the Cookeville/Sparta area...

13 months

really? it's been thirteen months since my sweet little boy graced us with his presence? wow! the time has just flown by! it seems like only a couple of weeks ago that we were coming home from the hospital. that first night home was awful - all three of us crying on the floor of the nursery after a disastrous attempt at changing his little diaper. watch out for the umbilical cord, be careful of the circumcision, don't forget the Vaseline and alcohol pad... is this diaper even on right? we couldn't stop apologizing to that poor little guy and kept questioning our decision to circumcise, but look at us now - we've made it to 13 months, and JA still thinks we're pretty cool :) the last thirteen months have been filled with so much joy, many laughs, kisses, and hugs, well, and some tears and sleepless nights which were well worth it. I'm not sure if I slept for more than 2 hours at a time for the first 3 or 4 months. it always reminds me of a bit that jim gaffigan does about new moms who breastfeed. he says you should never say you're tired in front of a new mom who breastfeeds because she'll reply that she only slept for 1 minute the night before AND she was breastfeeding during that minute :) how true!! if only my husband had remembered that the night he told me that HE (the one who got to sleep for hours at a time) was tired when I asked him to go change the baby. the look on my face convinced him that he really wasn't too tired to change the baby. but I'm not writing this to complain about my husband - he's a good guy who works very hard to provide for us, and I am so thankful for that.
we are still trying to figure out what we're doing, and praying that we don't do anything that will send him to therapy, but parenting is one of those learn-on-the-job occupations where you just try your best and then see what happens. maybe it will work, maybe it will blow up in your face - it's really just a toss-up. I read every book, magazine article, and website that I could find that had to do with parenting and infant care/milestones during my pregnancy and the first several months of JA's life. what did I learn? many things can go wrong, babies develop at their own rate, and baby poop is a mystery. I tried doing everything by the book, and all it did was make me very tired and anxious. now, at 13 months, I'm not consulting the books like a crazy information junkie looking for their next hit. and you know what? JA is okay. he's doing his own thing and is very happy about it. maybe, FINALLY, after 13 months mommy can stop worrying so much!
hahaha, right... at least I've stopped calling my mom about his poop :)

"Is he spoiled?"

is there an easy way to answer that? is there even a good answer for that question? "Is he spoiled?" hmmm, maybe, a little, not as much as i would like... isn't that what babies are for? why, wouldn't you spoil him? look at that face!
JA and I were at wal-mart today, and they have balloons for valentine's day EVERYWHERE in the store. and not just your ordinary valentine balloons, but super-cute balloons, like huge, green frog balloons. so... we got one. a $5 frog balloon. we walked through the store with this large frog floating above us, the string getting stuck in my ponytail more than once. mommy and JA, who was wearing his frog hat, went all over the walmart with this super-cute balloon. we ran into more than one person who commented on the cuteness of JA, his frog hat, and his frog balloon. we walked past a small child who immediately began throwing a fit because he wanted a frog balloon, too. (I'm pretty sure his dad shot me the meanest, thanks-so-much look ever as we strolled by.)nevertheless, we left walmart with one very happy baby, one very large floating frog, and one content mommy, until... I was unloading the cart and realized someone was talking to JA. I turned to say something and recognized a girl I had been friends with back in elementary school. she, her mother, and I exchanged pleasantries, and then she asked the question, "is he spoiled?" it was obvious from the huge smile on her face that it was really more of a rhetorical quesiton. well, that and the fact that I had just stuffed a huge, floating frog into the car. I grinned and said, "maybe a little," before i even realized I was talking out loud. We talked a little longer before returning to our respective vehicles and leaving. On the way home, I couldn't stop thinking; am I spoiling him? Am I setting a precedence that I will regret? True, it's just a $5 frog shaped piece of mylar filled with helium... now. but what if this leads to the 'I-wants' or the 'gimmies' or even worse: the middle-of-the-store, throw-yourself-on-the-floor fits? *shudder* What have I done? I ruined our child!!!
okay, seriously, I know I haven't ruined him, but it did help me realize that what I do now could easily become a habit which could then lead to trouble on down the road. so, I bought my one year old a valentine's day balloon. I don't do things like that every time we go into a store (we couldn't afford that!). I really don't think that randomly buying one balloon is going to make him think that he has to have something everytime we go into a store... hopefully :) shew, parenting is not easy, but at least it's fun!

one of these days...

one of these days, I'm going to finish this degree I've been working on for about a decade. one of these days, I'm going to go through everything in this house, and get rid of all the stuff we don't use by having a massive yard sale. one of these days, I'm going to lose this weight that I've put back on after all of the hard work it took to lose it the first time! one of these days, I'm going to polish my fingernails AND my toenails - just like I did before I became a mommy. one of these days, I'm going to clean out the apartment in the garage and make it into the coolest playroom ever! one of these days, I'm going to organize all the photos of JA that i have and possibly do a scrapbook with them. one of these days, I am going to finally forgive and forget ALL of the hurts and wrongs inflicted upon me by others. one of these days, I'm going to start blogging again... guess today's the day :)
I've had this account for over a year, but I never took the time to sit down and start this. I enjoyed blogging on myspace, but I have outgrown myspace in the past couple of years. One of my very best friends just started blogging on here, and I thought, hmmm... what a good idea :) blogging can be so therapeutic, so here I go.
maybe I'll get to some of the other things on this list, too...